Family Devotions - You Can Do It!

If at first you don’t succeed...well, you know the rest. These are words we heard often growing up and the words we tell our children when trying to encourage them to persevere in a task. The idea is a good one; keep trying, don’t give up, or as Scripture says, “Do not grow weary in well doing.” Fathers need this advice as well as children. Parenting isn’t easy; it takes more than any dad has within himself. Walking in the Spirit as we parent is the only way we can persevere toward the goal of raising children who hope in God. One area in particular needs our attention as we persevere in our fathering - that of leading in family devotions.

It’s been said that anything worth doing is worth doing poorly at first. That’s true of family devotions at my house. I do it poorly, but I keep trying. Perseverance in this task is important and I know that the Holy Spirit is there to help me because it’s a task He has given. From beginning to end the Scripture is filled with commands telling fathers to proclaim to the next generation the wonderful works of God.

God doesn’t give dads a list of things to teach our boys and girls. Baseball, gardening, carpentry, laundry, beekeeping, algebra, chemistry, scrapbooking, and basket-weaving may all have their place but none is commanded by God. What He has commanded is that we teach our children His Word and direct their hearts toward Him. One way to do this is by having a consistent time of family devotions. Teaching our children as we go about our daily lives is important but having a dedicated time of family Bible reading and prayer has enormous value in helping to accomplish what God commands.

Now, you may be saying, “That is good for you, but at my house we rarely have time to sit down together and when we do it is rushed so we can hurry off to some event.” Or, “I would like to lead my family that way, but it feels awkward, and I don’t really like to read.” Remember, anything worth doing is worth doing poorly for a while. Devotions at our house have become a routine but in another sense they are far from routine. I struggle with it. Some nights I read a Proverb, some nights I read the passage the children are memorizing for school and we discuss it, some nights I read from a devotional book, and of course we have rushed nights as well when devotions get missed. But the important thing for me is that I keep trying. I won’t give up - because it’s too important.

I’ve tried all sorts of devotional books, from ones that require preparation before the lesson to ones that don’t. I’ve tried ones that are laden with theological terms and ones that have simple language. I’ve tried using the Scriptures alone and reading them with and without comment. I am not musical but at times have asked my wife to lead a few songs. There are times when I get up from devotions and think, “That went really well.” Other times I wonder if anyone was even listening. But I keep trying, failing one day, but trying again the next.
Here are a few suggestions you may find helpful if you are a father struggling as I do in this area.  First, start small. “Do not despise the day of small beginnings.” Read the Proverb that coincides with the day of the month and say a simple prayer. (If reading aloud is a struggle, ask for volunteer readers or ask your wife to read.) A father doesn’t need to do all the reading but should be the primary mover to get things going.

Second, don’t feel like you can’t do this because of your busy schedule. You can work this around your schedule. Some days it may be that you are home for lunch and can do it then instead of at dinner. Breakfast may be the time that works best for your family. Maybe bedtime would work. Some families may need to do it at different times every day. Whatever the schedule, it can be done regularly. My own experience proves this. My schedule is variable from day to day and makes it difficult to have a routine that is timed the same every day. But we have some routine nonetheless. Dinner may be at 6:00 one night and 8:00 the next (not unusual at our home). Either way, if we have a few minutes after dinner, I try to get in family devotions. It may be short one day and long the next but the important thing is that it has become an expected event.

Third, fill your own soul first. It’s hard to deliver spiritual food with one’s own reservoir empty. Attending Sunday worship is primary in this. God’s word preached and taught is powerful and life-sustaining. I also recommend listening to sermon podcasts, and reading or listening to good Christian literature. As your own heart and mind are constantly directed toward the things of God, the overflow will be evident when you lead your family in devotions.

The fourth thing I recommend is getting involved in the lives of other men in your local church. As you rub shoulders with other godly men, you will be challenged as a husband and father. By investing time with like-minded men, talking, praying for one another, you will be encouraged as you grow in Christ. This growth will be evident when leading your family.

God has given men the responsibility of leading their families spiritually. Leading in family devotions can be challenging but it is also rewarding. It’s one way to fulfill our fatherly duties; as we persist in it, we will see wonderful God-given fruit.

The bottom line is this: if in family devotions you don’t succeed...well, you know the rest.

Raising Readers

In Tony Reinke's book "Lit! A Christian Guide To Reading Books" there is a chapter titled Raising Readers. In this chapter Tony list 16 ideas to help parents raise readers in the home.

Here they are in bullet point form. Tony, of course, expands on them is the book.

1. Fill your home with books.
2. Read to your kids.
3. Don't stop reading to your kids.
4. Read your books in front of your kids.
5. Teach young children to read.
6. Push entertainment into the background.
7. Listen to audio books in the car.
8. Hunt for the best books.
9. Anticipate new books.
10. Celebrate the classics.
11. Cultivate your child's moral imagination.
12. Help interpret worldviews as you read to your children.
13. Read your favorite excerpts to your children.
14. Invite your children to read to the family.
15. Challenge your children to improve books.
16. Most importantly, read the Bible together as a family.

I highly recommend Tony's book.

On Missionary Biography

I love books. In fact, in my library I have a book titled “I Love Books.” I read slowly, but by being consistent, a little each day, I plod through the books I have lined up and waiting to be read. My reading is mostly purposeful, deliberate. By this, I mean that I read not so much to be entertained as to be edified, encouraged, challenged, and changed. I choose biographies with this in mind. They were once recommended to me as a way of building up a mental vocabulary of overcoming great odds. Traversing polar lands by dogsled, escaping slavery, fighting for the cause of justice in the Senate, these and other stories from men’s lives have fit this idea of biography for me. But, there is something more in the missionary biography. There is to be found not just someone who overcame great odds, but someone who trusted in a great God. In the missionary biography we have examples of men and women overcoming, by faith and the hand of God, some of the most incredible circumstances. These stories many times seem unbelievable. Put in prison, beaten, fighting disease, living in huts, threatened by cannibals, alone; and yet enduring with joy for the glorious cause of the gospel of Christ. The few missionary biographies I have read have greatly encouraged me. As I see men drawing close to Jesus in the most trying of times, I realize Christ can be most precious when things are difficult. And things are not so difficult for me. This is one of the lessons I have learned. My wife, my children, and myself awoke this morning to see another day. My health is not failing and I have a roof over my head. No one is threatening my life today. But, when the little difficulties that are mine come crashing in upon me, I can brave them more easily by turning Christ, reading His word, as well as looking to the example of others. What was it that kept them marching forward against the odds? How did they endure such hardship? Where can I find joy in the midst of mourning and hope in the face of despair? I come to missionary biography with these questions and I am rarely disappointed. Each time I pick up a book I learn new things; and setting the book down I am a different person. The use of technology, an mp3 player especially, has given me a chance to enjoy books more readily. I listen and listen and listen. Not always to audio books; sometimes to sermons, speeches and podcast. But, over the last few years I have been so encouraged and changed by the things I have heard. Many times, going through difficulties, I have turned to a biography of John Bunyan, Adoniram Judson, or John Paton for encouragement. And it has worked for me. When I hear about Bunyan’s joy in prison, my heart is strengthened. Bunyan trusted in the guiding hand of Providence and his trust is somehow transferred to me. My smile comes back and the joy of Christ is returned to my soul. Hebrews 13:7 encourages us to: "Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith." This exhortation includes those leaders listed in Hebrews 11 but also, I believe, Christian leaders through the ages. My desire is to learn and be encouraged by the life stories of many others through the coming years and to pass this love of learning on to my children.

Reading list for children

This looks like a great resource for a parent that wants to create a reading list for their children.

God Is Able

Maybe other parents, especially fathers, are like me. We desire to raise the next generation of leaders, we pray that our children rise up to conquer the cultural dragons of our time, yet, we feel unqualified, unprepared, and unmotivated at times.

Many prayers have risen from my lips to God in heaven asking for wisdom as a father and asking that God would give me a vision for my growing family. God knows that I desire to do more in the training of my children. I have big dreams for training them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, but sometimes I feel that my dreams are beyond the reach of my resources. It seems that work eats up my time and the crumbs left over are not sufficient to feed my family the spiritual food that they need and that I desire to give to them. If only I could be like the fathers who speak at the homeschool conferences, or the ones who write those books about raising knights and maidens. If only I had more time to spend with my children, and when I do have time with them, if only I could know what to do with that time that would honor God and bear fruit in their lives. If only, if only. So, what is a father to do?

Part of my answer came in a recent sermon. This sermon, preached by a guest preacher at our church, found a receptive heart in this homeschooling father. Having recently been praying once again about all the things I desire to do with my family, things that seem to keep being postponed or escaping me, I found the sermon encouraging.

The text for the sermon was Ephesians 3:20-21

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

The preacher that morning was talking about how God knows not only what I pray about, but He knows what I think or imagine. God knows my dreams and the deep desires of my heart. In other words, God knows that I want to raise my children to hope in Him, to be Biblically minded leaders of the next generation, to grow into people of character, and that I desire for them to pass on a Biblical heritage to their children’s children.

From this passage I learned that before focusing on the fact that God knows my thoughts and can do more abundantly, the primary thing for me to realize is that God is able. The very nature of God, who He is in His essence, is brought before me in this passage. Because He is sovereign and ruling over the universe and everything in it, He is able. His is able, and He is merciful and loves me, and wants to give me good gifts. One of those gifts is the working out of the purposes He has for the children He has entrusted to me.

The most amazing thing from this text is realizing that God can do “more abundantly” than I ask or think. God may answer the prayers of my heart in ways that I don’t understand and through circumstances that are outside my grasp at this time, but because of who He is I can be assured that He not only can do more than I ask or think but that He will do more. These thoughts were a great encouragement to me as I realized how God cares for me and loves me enough to want the desires of my heart for my children to be fulfilled. Now, whenever I am discouraged in the training of my children, I will say to myself, “God is able.”

"I Only Need Fifty Cents, Dad"

“Son, lots of boys grow up and never learn the value of work. Coming to work with me is a great opportunity for you; not just to have fun but to learn about work.”

For a few minutes, I continued to wax eloquent to my seven year old about earning money and not expecting the world to owe him a living. My expectations for him to grasp or comprehend my meaning were low, but I figured it was better to start talking about such things while he was young. What he said to me later that day swelled my heart with joy.

One of the greatest blessings of being a self-employed contractor is bringing my children to work with me on occasion. Not only do we get to spend the day together, but also I am taking these opportunities to teach my children about work. The jobs vary and sometimes there is much that my children can do to help me while other times there is not so much for them to do. I always give them a dollar at the end of the day as well as get them an ice cream or some other treat and I’m sure that this is my children’s favorite part of going to work with dad.

Recently it was my 7-year-old son’s turn to work with me. This particular day was spent driving from job site to job site and not actually doing much work with our tools. My son finished his schoolwork while we were driving and then helped with the little bit of actual work that we did.

On the way home, I pulled a dollar bill out of my wallet. I know it doesn’t sound like much but the job comes with a great benefits package. I joke about using slave labor with anyone who asks me about my young helpers, but joking aside, I am serious about teaching them the value of work.

As I handed my son his dollar, he said, “I only need fifty cents.” I immediately assumed that he had already acquired two quarters from my ashtray turned change holder. This is common practice for my boys. But I asked him, “Why only fifty cents?” “Because I didn’t do that much work today,” was his reply.

Those words were beautiful to me. I quickly turned the radio off and shared with him my excitement that he was learning at age seven what many adult men have yet to learn: honest pay for honest work. Workers should provide value to the marketplace and get paid for that; not get paid for just showing up.

I turned the radio back on as we continued toward home. Then another thought struck me, “This is a God-given opportunity to teach something else as well.” The radio was turned off again. “Son, working to earn and not expecting things to be given to you is the best way to view work. But, do you know the one thing you can work hard, really hard for, and never earn? The one thing you can never work hard enough to earn no matter how hard or long you work?”

He didn’t know.

“Son, the one thing you can work for, strive for, and no matter how much work you do you can never earn - is salvation. Salvation is God’s gift to us. Jesus did the work of obedience to God for us and the work of dying for sin and taking the punishment that should be ours. Do you understand that, son?”

As he nodded in the affirmative I turned the radio back on. I had waxed eloquent again and my expectations for him to grasp or comprehend my meaning were higher this time because the Holy Spirit doesn’t let His word return void. And besides, I figured it was better to start talking about such things while he was young.


-by David West

Teaching Boys to Handle an Axe

Reading “A. Lincoln” by Ronald C. White Jr., I came across this sentence: “Handling an ax with such skill was a sign that a boy was becoming a man.”

This made me wonder - what functions as such a sign today? What should parents and society look for in a boy to signify that he is becoming a man?

In Abraham Lincoln’s day the ax was not a toy; it was a tool. The ax was used for such things as clearing land to prepare for planting, and for cutting wood to build a home. Ax swinging skills showed that a boy was learning to work. It seems that today’s youth are concerned about many things but work is among the least of their concerns. The word ‘kidult’ and other such terms have even been coined to wrap our language around the phenomenon of boyhood behaviors lasting long into adult years. The culture around us is becoming a consumer culture without enough producers. Sadly, ax swinging is largely a thing of the past. Although, admittedly, an ax toting youth walking down my suburban street would be a cause for concern.

In order for boys to become men, godly fathers are needed. Businesses and governments will continue to tout programs that teach work skills and to attempt to motivate youth, but will meet with little success. The greatest successes to be gained in training the next generation to grow up and to value work will come from the homes of godly men and women. Parents are uniquely positioned, and fathers specifically charged by God, to teach and train the next generation. When fathers see the need for boys to learn the value of work, and when they recognize their God-given duty in the training of their children, ordinary chores will take on new meaning. Jobs around the home will be transformed into opportunities for teaching ‘ax swinging’ skills. Yes, projects will take longer to complete when little ones help, but should godly fathers be more interested in speedily completing the project than in taking the time to build men? Should we be more interested in the project being done right than in teaching little hands how to handle the tools? Would we prefer they keep out of our way and play games than that they be in our way and learn to work?

Several times I have asked my eight-year-old boy, “Calvin, when does a boy become a man?” The answer that I have taught him is, “When he starts doing the things men do.” Work, or ax swinging, is one of the things men are to do. There is more to manhood than work, much more, but a proper understanding of work and the role of men as providers is certainly a big part of being a man. I tell my son, “Manhood doesn’t happen at eighteen years old, or any other age. It comes by stages, and steps. One step is learning to value work.” Calvin listens and sometimes I wonder what he is thinking. Just as growing into a man will comes in stages for him, I know that my speaking to him, modeling for him, working with him, and teaching him will be a part of that step by step growth process.

All dads can and should find ways to thoughtfully teach the value of work to their children. As we do we must remember how the Gospel of Jesus informs our view of work. We must never teach the value of work in such a way that our favor towards our children is dependent upon their works. When our Father in heaven looks down upon us and showers us with His favor and blessing it is not because of the works we have done but only because of the work He has done on our behalf. As we teach our boys to work, we should look for opportunities to teach them about the work of Christ. This is the only way to properly train the next generation of Christian men to handle an ax.